It's amazing how easy it's become. I remember the horrible hacking, the gagging. Now there's just the squelch of fingers where they shouldn't be, and a neat splash in the toilet bowl. This shouldn't be so simple. I shouldn't be doing this here, even if my roommate is at her 8 o'clock class. But this food has got to get out of me somehow. Someway. I will be tiny one day. I will be so tiny that I disappear. I wish I didn't understand the underlying causes of all this. I wish I was so naive as to think that this really was about my weight.
Depressing part over. I'm feeling the lovely second day soreness from my gym run. I think that I'll be alternating cardio at the gym with calisthenics here in the dorm room. A doesn't really mind me on the floor doing my leg lifts while she reads her economics book, so I think this plan will work. Unfortunately, that means I'll have to power through my soreness today. I can do it, though. It will be worth it.
I haven't weighed myself in two days. It's making me so nervous. I can't right now, even if I did purge breakfast. The number wouldn't be right. I was 150 on Wednesday, and I'm hoping to be back to 148 by Saturday.