I drove home and back to college again this morning. I was home for less than an hour before I left. It was strange being there. I had no purpose. When I got home, my dad was asleep, so naturally I slipped into binge/purge mode. I hate being home because it's so easy there. By the time I was done hacking up the last remnants of my "breakfast" my dad was awake. So we chatted for a while. He said I had grown up. That I looked good since I've slimmed down some. And then we looked awkwardly at each other until I decided it was time to leave. I feel like I've already moved out.
So, CAliChica asked me how I get away with my behaviors, and looking like I do. Well, for me it's easy because I don't look too thin. I think I look like a whale, but most people would judge me as average sized. Hiding the binging and purging is a lot harder, though. I've just learned when and when not to do it, and how to be quiet with it. My dad will occasionally ask if I'm eating enough, and I just say that I am and he leaves me alone. But he's pretty oblivious, so I got lucky there. I hope that's what you were asking :)
The cafeteria isn't serving food all weekend(!), so I've bought some Special K and some bananas, and those will tide me over until Monday. I think I might fast on Sunday. Sundays are the best days for it, and I always feel so clean starting the week. I went into binge mode last night and ate three desserts. And after spending an hour at the gym, too. I just ruined all my hard work, and then some. I think I'll go back today for punishment. I don't know if I'll have time, though. We're going on a mandatory propaganda tour of the college.
I'm sorry if this was rambly and all over the place. I hope you lovelies are having beautiful Saturdays :)
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