Saturday, June 4, 2011

It's a life of leaving home.

I drove home and back to college again this morning.  I was home for less than an hour before I left.  It was strange being there.  I had no purpose.  When I got home, my dad was asleep, so naturally I slipped into binge/purge mode.  I hate being home because it's so easy there.  By the time I was done hacking up the last remnants of my "breakfast" my dad was awake.  So we chatted for a while.  He said I had grown up.  That I looked good since I've slimmed down some.  And then we looked awkwardly at each other until I decided it was time to leave.  I feel like I've already moved out.

So, CAliChica asked me how I get away with my behaviors, and looking like I do.  Well, for me it's easy because I don't look too thin.  I think I look like a whale, but most people would judge me as average sized.  Hiding the binging and purging is a lot harder, though.  I've just learned when and when not to do it, and how to be quiet with it.  My dad will occasionally ask if I'm eating enough, and I just say that I am and he leaves me alone.  But he's pretty oblivious, so I got lucky there.  I hope that's what you were asking :)

The cafeteria isn't serving food all weekend(!), so I've bought some Special K and some bananas, and those will tide me over until Monday.  I think I might fast on Sunday.  Sundays are the best days for it, and I always feel so clean starting the week.  I went into binge mode last night and ate three desserts.  And after spending an hour at the gym, too.  I just ruined all my hard work, and then some.  I think I'll go back today for punishment.  I don't know if I'll have time, though.  We're going on a mandatory propaganda tour of the college.

I'm sorry if this was rambly and all over the place.  I hope you lovelies are having beautiful Saturdays :)

No comments:

Post a Comment