Tuesday, June 7, 2011


Down another pound, despite binging on deserts last night.  My bum gallbladder sure didn't like that.  Maybe that's why nothing stuck.  Because it, ahem, moved through me so quickly.  My roommate when down to breakfast, but I'm still trying to decide if I want to eat.  Maybe just a Greek yogurt with 1/3 of a banana.  That seems safe.  Cereal and milk does not.

My dad said he'd look into taking me to visit the university in Washington I want to attend.  I'm so excited. I don't know if I'll get to go, though.  It's a 35 hour drive, or $500 worth of plane tickets.  Not to mention hotels and food and the like.  Or the actual cost of college itself.  Everything is just so expensive.

My sanity is slipping.  Everything hurts.  I tell my best friend that everything is too much, that I can't do it anymore, yet I continue to race along at a million miles an hour.  Statues breathe, books hold conversations, the peanut butter jar is taunting.  The inanimate is animate, and it's frightening.  I don't know where my neurosis begins, and the madness of psychosis begins.  People think I'm just another angsty teenager.  They forget I'm mentally ill until I need to go to the hospital again.  I can't afford this right now.  I really can't.

Why isn't anyone commenting?  What did I do wrong?


  1. your writing style is amazing.
    it's ok gorgeous, you're strong and can pull through. I hope you feel better soon!
    I'm here for you darling.
    Low Anafly
    ps, thanks for the lovely comment

  2. Thank you for commenting my blog so often. I really appreciate it. And I'm sorry I don't get around to commenting yours. I just never feel like I have anything valuable to say.

    Anafly is right -- you are a fantastic writer. Do you ever write fiction?

  3. About comments- your blog isn't showing in my feed when you update? I thought you'd been quiet for a bit then I come here and you haven't been! I don't understand why your blog isn't showing; even when I click just to show yours- it's saying the last time you updated was one week ago?? I don't get it :/ xx