Saturday, April 9, 2011

SGD Day 13... Kinda.

Well, I had the ACT today.  That went well-ish... I have a 29, but I'm trying to break 30.  All I have to do is improve my math score.  Unfortunately, I don't think that happened.  But my essay was kick-ass, so I'm going to count it as breaking even.

I got home, and instantly shoved four Zebra Cakes into my face (640).  I ran upstairs and purged until all I could see and taste was bile.  Fuck.  I seem to be purging more and more lately.  I can't say that I'm proud of it.  I wish I had the strength to just restrict, but when I can't, I at least have a back up plan.  I'm on a water and tea fast for the rest of the day, and I have to work out at least twice.

I don't know if I should count this as a failure for the SGD or not.  If I do, I probably won't start over for at least a week, and that could be problematic.  But if I don't, I continue and feel as if I've failed the entire time.  I think the only way I'll let myself continue is if I fast all day today and tomorrow.  I'm just not sure.  I would appreciate opinions.  


  1. Good luck with the fast tomorrow! You will feel fresh afterwards and the SGD with seem easy! I wish I had the back up plan of purging. I can't do it! I try and try, two days ago I tried and then I start spitting up blood my throat has been sore ever since! Any tips?
    Good luck! xox

  2. You didn't even fail yet today though. you have a limit of 650 and you're just under. So don't stress, just work out as planned and stick to the diet as best you can.
    sending you lots of encouragement and support!

  3. Hey to ana-answer: I wouldn't start purging because when you start it becomes easier to binge. Binging is less likely to happen if you don't have a backup plan (or at least that is what I have found!)

    But Alex, you are not a failure honey, it's only one day. Just get some sleep and wake up knowing hat tomorrow is a new day and you are gonna do even better <3

  4. I agree, today isn't over and it was only one day. And as you purged in my opinion it kind of cancels out? Tomorrow will be better :D xx

  5. lately when i've been binging and i want to so bad -- like so bad that i feel that i cant control myself, ill get up and leave the room which usually helps. i think the purging did cancel out what you ate but i don't recommend using that as a tactic every day because it's just a vicious circle :/ i've managed to never purged throughout my entire ED so maybe i just don't understand? im not sure but what i try to do when i eat something i wish i hadnt is weight train. i have a pair of 10 lb dumbells in my room and i lift for a while. although it may not cancel out everything i ate, it's a good workout, it continues to burn calories after you finish, and the more muscle mass you have the faster your metabolism. just a tip. don't let this knock you down girl <3 xo