Saturday, March 26, 2011

Homebird

I just got back from the debate tournament.  I feel like such a fat, fat failure.  First off, the meet was double-down elimination, which means two losses and you're out of the running.  My partner and I lost our first two debates.  Fuuuuck.  I can't even figure out what we did wrong in the second debate.  Our first was obvious... we completely ignored their first contention.  Stupid stupid stupid.  But the second we should have won.  The only thing I can think of was that I brought up new information in the final focus, but the other pair made more grievous sins than that.

And our team eats so much.  We stopped at this amazing burger place, and fatty here ate the whole thing up.  There's no way that meal was under 900 calories.  And today I've had cookies and pizza and more.  I'm fasting tomorrow.  On Monday, I'll start the Skinny Girl diet, without counting fruit and veggie calories.

I almost got caught purging in the restroom, too.  I had just finished this really delicious chicken salad sandwich, and I realized I had to pee.  Once I was in the bathroom, I couldn't help myself.  I got about half of it up before I remembered what a precarious situation I was in.  I was just washing the evidence off my hand when another girl from our team walked in.  That's the closest I've ever come to being caught doing something ED related in real life.  It honestly scared the shit out of me.

Well, I had a Java Monster on the ride up (too many calories), so while I have my energy boost, I think I'll take a run, try and negate some of the damage that's been done.  I doubt it's possible.  I'm not even going to total up this weekend's calories.  I'm such a failure.  When I'm done with my workout, I'll catch up on your blogs.  If anyone wants to join me on the Skinny Girl diet, that would be lovely (:

2 comments:

  1. even if they don't count, be careful of the amount of fruits and vegetables you eat.^^
    2 mangos and pouf! 400cal! and without those 400cal you could lose one more pound in less than 10 days!
    I would advise you to do the healthy skinny girl diet first, then the SGD.
    I know, I'm all talk, but I can't even eat 500cal without barfing /:

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  2. Don't worry too much about the debate, I'm sure you did excellent. I used to be on the debate team at my old old school haha, and it scared the shit out of me, because that was back when I was so shy my own shadow scared me. When I debated I was ridiculously quite and terrified the whole time, so compared to me I'm sure you were amazing, if that's any consolation! :P
    Good luck with the skinny girl diet, I could never finish it, too fat for those kind of things. I know you can do it, just be careful with yourself.
    xoxo

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