Wednesday, May 25, 2011

A rare glimmer of optimism

I fear, my dears, that this will be my last post for a while.  What with nationals and the start of summer college and reading Beowulf for AP English IV and putting together a college resume, I'm going to be busy busy busy busy.  I'll be on and off periodically, though.

I splurged a bit tonight, and had Starbucks.  That stuff is dreadful for me.  I don't know why I did it.  Coffee screws up my stomach every time.  Oh well.  It was worth it.  My throat is still killing me, though.  If it's still scratchy like this in the morning, I'm putting myself on vocal rest before the tournament.  I don't have much of a chance, but I refuse to let this disease fuck up what little shot I have at winning.

I took a picture of myself today.  I was shocked.  I look decidedly normal sized.  My 13's are literally falling off me, and my 11's don't fit quite right either.  It never occurred to me that I've slipped from large t-shirts to mediums.  And I realized today that 148 is the least I've weighed since coming home crying from a physical in the 5th grade because I weighed 149 lbs.  I am nearly healthy.  And healthy is just another step towards thin!

135 by the end of the summer.  And then 120 by the end of the year.  I can do this.  I will do this.


  1. You have lost a few pants sizes. That's so great. You and I have the same goal I want to be 120 also. Good luck at reaching your goal . I know you can get there

  2. hey, congrats on dropping several sizes :) stay strong

  3. Alex-- first of all, thank you so much for your comment on the post I wrote when I felt so depressed because of all of my dad's comments: the support I felt from your words-- thank you so very much, darling, I really needed it.

    And now- I will miss your posts when you're not posting, but I will be looking forward to your words when you have a little bit of time and do update us on whatever you're busy with.

    Congratulations to your visible weight loss, girl! Isn't it just an amazing feeling when your jeans feel loose and your t-shirts just seem... too big?

    Lots of love to you, and thank you so much again.